FROM ADDICTIONS TO LIFE PART 9 ALCOHOL (1)

Alcohol

I started messing with alcohol in 5th grade.  Because of that same year I also visited hospital twice (in the toxicology).

First time I got drunk: On a school camp in 5th grade.

In the beginning I was drinking occasionally, but as the time passed things changed.

As a 7th grader I had another, quote unquote best friend with whom we were often getting drunk.

Binging on red wine was something we were doing in school (at least 1 or 2 times, during the course of the week).

Back then I still couldn’t handle the taste of the heavy liquor.

During the summer between 7th and 8th grade wine was replaced with mix of “Brandy” & Mountain Dew.

Getting drunk in the middle portion of the day and going on a double dates, was the thing back then. And I had another partner in crime (friend) with whom I was doing it.

Side Note: Very often I had no idea where I was on the actual dates.

Soon weed started dominating the spectrum of substances I was using and my desire to drink alcohol became weaker (but wasn’t for too long).

Regardless of that, I was still doing it here and there, mostly beer it was up to 1 gallon on sitting.

Sex, Drugs & Alcohol

As I previously said, dating seemed as not possible when I was smoking weed.

Yet, my heavy sex addiction never cared about that. Therefore sneaking some drinking days here and there was a necessity, to get the whole dating thing going.

As I already told you, I had self doubt even when I had to go to the toilet: The place where my self esteem and confidence usually were. But all of that had absolutely no importance when I was drunk.

While “Speed” was entirely eliminating my social anxiety, self doubt and lack of confidence, alcohol was making to me simply not care about them.

So what was the difference?

While the first was making me feel like I was “The Sh*t”, on the 2nd I still felt like sh*t, but I simply didn’t care.

In my book of rules dating and alcohol were always together like they were best friends.

Actually they were even more, because without alcohol there was no dating. So, the 2nd was something like a byproduct of the 1st.

But after finding speed I made a correction…

And then another one, since I couldn’t use my d*ck for anything else besides urinating, when I was on it.

It seemed like “Annie” was never willing to share me with others.

Based on that conclusion, I left Speed only for dates which I knew wouldn’t include any intimate contacts.

Ones which “required” from me to be a bit more sociable. And maybe “engage” in the conversation, I wasn’t necessarily enjoying.

Since without Alcohol or Speed there was not dating for me, I came up with a plan/schedule strictly followed.

Dates 1 & 2 (No Sex) – Definitely- Speed;
Date 3 – Alcohol (But not too much until I was done with intimate contacts);

Because it was online dating, usually the first 1 to 2 dates were mostly about “Getting to know each other and etc”.

If it was happening at all, there were few options for the 3rd date.

·The girl was bringing me to her house;
·I was bringing her to my house;
·When I got 18 I also started visiting hotels;
·In rare cases I was getting head in the local park (If it wasn’t too cold);

Back then I really didn’t care about the personality of the girls I was dating.

The way I looked on the females in general was mostly as potential or non potential intimate partners.

But the most important thing wasn’t the sex by itself. It was the ability to tell my friends I had more sex than them.

Yeah, that was the mindless rat race about which I’m speaking of here.

My drinking became more frequent between 2005 and 2007. This is what I was doing on the most days when I wasn’t taking speed.

Real Life Story

Side note: At least 1 week prior this day, I haven’t been using any “Speed” nor “Weed” .

One day I asked a local kid to give me his bike, so I could do a circle in the local park with it.

He was pretty sure it wasn’t a good idea, but I insisted.

Everything ended with an accident with me and a woman who was walking in the park in that moment.

Thank GOD, no one got injured, but I had some very bad bruises for few weeks.

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