FROM ADDICTIONS TO LIFE PART 2 CIGARETTES

How I started smoking

Everything started with cigarette smoking (in the end of 3rd grade).

First time I smoked: I don’t remember, but I’m pretty sure it was in school.

10 or 9 years old, me and the boy with whom we were quote unquote “best friends” started smoking cigarettes. For a while it was boosting my self esteem and making me feel better about myself.

Honestly I thought that smoking was awesome. You light a cigarette. You hold it, as it burns, and you get to blow smoke.

Pretty cool, huh?

Or how it couldn’t be since my beloved grandma and all of the cool kids were doing it. Yet, that was not all.

The fact it was prohibited in school, was also contributing to see the habit as something exceptionally appealing, because I despised school, since the first day I stepped in it.

As long as I can remember, my friend copied the habit from his brother. Who was a bully and kind of a big deal amongst the other teenagers.

Me and my homie started collecting our money and we were buying a pack of cigarettes and plenty of chewing gum almost every single day.

We were using the chewing gum after smoking, so we could smell less to our parents and the other adults.

Our thing was to hide ourselves in one unfinished building, which technically was part of the local school and supposed to be a swimming pool.

Yet, they never finished it, so it was still on its place few years later (when I was searching for a proper place to lose my virginity).

As the time passed by, I stopped hiding myself. Soon I was smoking cigarettes on all sorts of places, all of the time.

“Meanwhile in 5th grade I had to visit toxicology, because I also started messing with alcohol. But more on that later…”

How bad my smoking addiction got

Now, fast forward to the times when I was between 16 and 19 years old. Then the things were nowhere near fun, as they were in the beginning.

I’ve reached the point where I was smoking up to 2 packs a day on my own. My craving for nicotine was so strong that after I was done with mine, I was always smoking other people’s cigarettes.

When I did not have any cigarettes left, I was often collecting cigarette butts, not only from ashtrays, but also from the streets.

No, I haven’t smoke them. I was too smart for that;)

I was pulling out the tobacco and then making new cigarette by using rolling paper.

The breaking point (2007)

Back then I had an awful caught and my sputa had some abnormal brown color.

Huffing and puffing pretty much 24/7, the smallest physical activities were making me breath a lot harder. And I was also sweating like a MF.

Spending up to 2 minutes expectorating, was a common thing for me.

Intimate Life And Smoking

Intimate contacts were often not only unpleasant, but also very embarrassing. Due to the fact I was breathing and sweating so heavy, that when I was on top of my partners, my sweat was dropping on their faces.

Some of the girls were stopping the act, in order to bring some extra sheets or even a towel in bed, so they could get rid of my sweat.

Real Life Story

One day as I fell asleep, my friends woke me up. Because my lungs and whole breathing have been making some very uncommon sounds.

Scared, they told me that, they were concerned, I was about to choke while sleeping.

Probably the same month after hearing my caught another person said to me:

“If you don’t stop smoking, you will probably choke in your own sauce.”

My Reasons To Quit Smoking

At that point I already hated cigarettes. And actually was planning to quit them for a while. I also had some serious reasons to do it.

They were:

·My health. That included: the horror thoughts, that maybe my body was also seriously damaged, because of the other stuff, I did to myself during the past years. And specially the past spring and  summer (the ones of 2007)

·The fact that a I had to somehow start dealing with my alcohol addiction, which at that time was getting stronger.
I knew my willpower was weak as f*ck, so had conserve it for the most urgent things.

·My plan to make my Mom quit them too. (I was obsessed with that one)

·Smoking was interfering my scratch practices, which back were just getting longer and more frequent.

·The fact that I was no longer willing to spend money on cigarettes

How I Quit Smoking

Back then all of the people around me were smokers. That included my Mom and the girl who was f*cking me most of the time. Regardless of that, after 9 years of doing it, I quit smoking for 1 day.

In the next 2 years I made both of them do the same.

Mom still doesn’t smoke and I’m more than proud about that.

A Little Cool Fact

My mother told me that I reminded her, her father after whom I’ve been named. He also quit smoking for 1 day after being a smoker for so many years.

RIP to Him. I guess he was  the O.G. Pete.

What I Think About Cigarette Smoking

To me cigarettes are the most stupid drug I’ve ever tried. There are really no good effects from them.

There is no ”hype”,”high” nor “mental” and “physical” rush whatsoever.

So Why the f*ck you’re smoking for?

To deprive your body of oxygen and choke?

Or To ruin your health, smell like crap and lose money?

How about  getting lung can*er and while not being able to sense all of the smells and tastes available around us?

S*it is boring as f*ck. Plus that 90’s are long gone.

Click Here for Part 3.