FROM ADDICTIONS TO LIFE PART 10 ALCOHOL (2)

When shit hit the fan

It was still 2007, month or 2 after I quit Speed and bit less time after I quit cigarettes.

Remember what I described as the side effects of Speed?

Good!

That was not only how I felt all of the time, but it was getting worse during the afternoon.

I am an introvert, with or without drugs, I really enjoy being alone. I don’t f*ck with too many people and I always keep my circle close (actually closer).

Yet, that was the only time in my whole life when that appeared as problem, and I felt very lonely.

Big part of Me was still missing what was happening during the whole spring and summer (2007).

Once again there was a lot of crying and that time it felt worse than ever.

No, that I’m not talking about the substance by itself, but about that whole excitement on different level.
Even though it played major role, to me “Speed” was mostly important as part of something bigger…

It was my last year in high school…

In order to graduate faster I was taking the total number of exams for almost 2 years for 1, because I wanted to get rid of the whole school thing ASAP.

Things were kind of normal during the day, but around 5pm my depression and along with it my need for booze were becoming unbearably stronger.

Sometimes I wanted to start drinking right after lunch. The only thing which had the power to keep me sober was my desire to get better at scratching.

Alcohol was not only completely destroying my coordination, but also making my hands and fingers heavy and stiff .

Therefore practicing my scratches wasn’t really possible after drinking even just a little bit.

Probably due to the fact, it dehydrates the whole body, in my imagination booze was making my blood dry and I couldn’t scratch.

For the most part I was managing to hold myself during the whole day, but being sober during the afternoon was simply not an option.

The Worst Part

Drinking up to 1 gallon of beer wasn’t new to me, it was simply no longer enough. The solution was pouring some heavy liquor in my beer.
Usually those were “Gin” or “Red Rum”.

Skipping a day of drinking, was making me unable to fall asleep and getting wasted on my own very a common thing to me.

Regardless that I never had a memory of what happened on the previous day, 2 things were for sure upon waking:

I had to immediately apologize to my Mom and after that eventually do the same to some other people.

Excluding in few times alcohol was never making me aggressive, I simply had awful behavior.

Yet, one of those times caused me few scars (on my forehead), I’ll probably have until the rest of my life. But we’ll get to that in a moment.

Sometimes I was having a dinner with my family and after they were falling asleep, I was sneaking out of the house to buy me liquor, and then I was getting wasted.

Real Life Story

My parents went on vacation to another country for the New Year’s Eve (2007-2008).

I got so wasted that I slept for 30h. After waking up I called some “homies” and asked them what happened, because I had no idea.

They told me, I slept for 30hours straight.

In that moment I felt like all of my organs were stabbed with some kind of blades and like my head was about to explode.

Scared to death, I called that girl I was constantly convincing to f*ck me and promised her, I wouldn’t do any attempts of getting her having sex with me.

Sure that something horrible was about to happen with me, I asked her to come and stay with me until my mother was home.

Little Addition To The Story

It wasn’t a single time when a very dear (back then) to me person had to drive me home, because I was completely unable to move, talk, think, nor respond…

The Beginning Of The End

It was still end of 2007 and I heard that there would be a national DMC competition in the local area.
Most likely you can’t imagine how bad I wanted to compete in it.

In fact doing good in it was what I dreamed of most of the times when I was turned up to the max on “Speed”. It was the beginning of all of those dreams.

In order to be able to dedicate my full attention on my preparation, I had to get rid of school the fastest possible way.

Taking the total number of exams for close to 2 years for the time of 1 would allow me to do it, therefore I had to motivate the s*it out of my ass and graduate immediately.

So, that was exactly what I’ve done.

School & Partying (Real Facts)

Spending even a single cent on the school’s prom was something I refused to do by any means.

On or off drugs, school never became my thing even though I changed 6 (5 public & 1 private).

Surprisingly my still existing cravings for Speed became so much weaker, after I no longer had to deal with it.

No, I never liked anything related to school and that included it’s celebrations.

The way I felt about it was something like: “I would celebrate whenever I decided to. It would be my own way and nothing school related would be part of it” 

Do you know what else never became my thing?

Let Me tell You….

Partying

Even though I was abusing the s*it out of drugs, going on a party was something I always hated.

Sex I adored. Drugs I adored.  Alcohol… Well I wouldn’t say I adored it, but I was certainly abusing the s*it out it.
Partying never.

Turntables (Real Life Story)

My first professional set was Vestax, but in those competitions  they were using only Technics.

After hearing about the difference in the equipment I currently had and the one used in the battles, Mom said it would be the best to reinvest the money from the prom in pair of brand new Technics1210’s.

Money  was a lot and I told her that it wouldn’t be necessary, but she insisted.

I can’t express how happy I was, when we went to the local gear store to get my set of Technics turntables.

Hands down it was one of the happiest moments in my life.

Still not knowing if it’s  because of  the torque, faceplate or the rubber on the back of the platter I would say:  The smell of fresh Technics decks is unforgettable.

Scared shitless I started prepping for my first “real battle” and appearance on stage.

Click Here For The Next Part