FROM ADDICTIONS TO LIFE PART 3 WEED

Weed

First time I smoked

Not so sure when that happened.

How I got into weed

Heavily influenced by the “HipHop Culture” and mostly listening to Rap Music, I always thought weed was some kind of cultural/social  type of drug.

I use to believe “Pot” was a very important part of the whole lifestyle.

Despite, it never worked for me in this manner, I also thought pot was “Magical Thing” which I could possibly use to boost Creativity and Inspiration.

Side note: Yes, HipHop definitely made me try weed, but wasn’t the reason for my addiction. My stupidity was. I really want to make this clear.

In 6th grade I started smoking weed occasionally. It was making me laugh and for a while I was really f*cking with it. Because of that I was smoking weed every time, I had the chance to do so.

Since back then they were fairly rare, I was very excited about those times

How bad my weed addiction got

Now, lets scroll to when I was in 8th grade. At that point I was already spending all of my money on weed. And I was smoking all day, every day. Or at least until there was nothing left.

Me and the people whom I was hanging with were collecting our money, so we could buy and smoke more weed.

Even though I was no longer excited about it, at that point I was no longer able to imagine my life without weed. It was just part of my day and everything I was doing.

Pretty much obsessed with it, getting it was my daily priority. A daily mission or something similar.

I even had periods of starting my mornings with a doobie, previously rolled on the night before.
At that point, I was no longer getting high, but simply stoned as MF.

Instead of making me laugh, weed was making me very antisocial and incredibly suspicious to everything and everyone.
I became very paranoid and the people around me also had it.

Short story

Meanwhile I got beaten and locked up by the police because of few oz’s of weed I had in my pocket for personal use.

Then I became not only paranoid, but also very anxious. Since it was very common side effect of the weed smoking me and the people around me thought it was only the paranoia.

Later in my life I realized that back then I was actually having some massive panic attacks on the daily  basis…

End of the story

After smoking, I was getting lazy, tired and very non communicative. But in long term it was actually making me really aggressive.

Arguing about everything with everyone, I was losing my sense of self preservation.

Definitely not the person you want to be around, I was such a f*cking dickhead. And yes I can ensure you that it had a lot to do with my weed smoking.

Have I mention that weed was making me “dreamless” and “emotionless”?

The best way of describing would be to say that:

I became so incredibly dumb and narrow minded, that I wasn’t even aware of it. Like to a point where it was jeopardizing my whole life and wellbeing

And No. I wasn’t aware of that either.

Blind to see they did not not belong there had to  remove. Because they were toxic AF.

Weed was also making me, not take care of myself, nor of my stuff. My room was total mess. And I was rocking fairly long hair and also a beard. Something I would never do, unless I’m out of my mind.

A part from those side effects, I also became as stupid as you can imagine. Like “Brain Dead” kind of stupid.

My long and short term memory were so altered, that I was barely able to remember anything.

Weird Fact

The person with whom I was smoking most of the time, had the same issues. Often we were discussing the same things over and over again, like it was for the first time and they were totally new to both of us.

I also began having some extreme difficulties in school

No, I never cared about my grades. Yet, that immediately changed when I had to study during the whole summer vacation. So, I could somehow get at least E-. In order to not repeat the whole previous year.

On top of everything that happened 2 years in a roll. And I struggled massively on both.

After smoking I was getting extremely bored.

Weed & Cravings

Reefer was always triggering some unbearable hunger and cravings for all sorts of carbohydrates. As part of my smoking ritual I was always going with some double chocolate chip cookies.

But plain bread was also an option in the times when I couldn’t afford the cookies due to the fact I’ve spent all of my money on weed (or weed and cigarettes).

Weed & Intimate Life

Dating and sex on weed were total No, No, because pot was amplifying my shyness and insecurities drastically.

The Breaking Point & How I Quit Weed

There was no breaking point with this one. Regardless of how strong my addiction was it was, I really had no difficulties when I was quitting weed.

I’ve not only lost my interest in it, but hating it with passion became essential to me. You’re about to find out what was the exact thing which massively contributed to that (in the next parts of the essay).

I took me close to 2 months to quit weed entirely. After that smoked around 5 times. They quickly reminded me why exactly I quit it. And hen I never touched it again.

Weed is that made me so stupid, that I wasn’t able to understand it. I would describe it as the opposite of what is called  to be self aware.

Conclusion

Weed turned me into very unmotivated, unfocused, confidence lacking, shy and completely not interested in achieving any form of success piece of s*it.

Please don’t get me wrong. This is just my personal opinion about how weed worked for me.
It is based on the 4 years of experience I have with it. That’s all.

Disclaimer – 2 things in regards to weed which I want to clarify 

1. By any means I’m not against the people who use marijuana for medical purposes;

2. I believe only very few people have that genetic predisposition to really “get high”.

In other words: To truly experience the feel probably all rappers describe in their songs.

I think most of the people “get stoned and not high”. But they don’t want to admit it and quit weed, simply because they’re too addicted to it. That is based my observations and close to 4 years experience with pot (lot’s of experimenting).

I hope that makes sense.

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